Woof Woof Whimper Slobber Scratch: Translated

I have spent the past several months trying to convince Mom and Dad to let me write on their blog. Whenever I get close to Mom’s computer, though, she just asks me where my toy is and starts playing “go get it.” This weekend, she finally understood. I want to contribute to the blog. And guess what? Since you’re reading this, she said yes! Woofray!

I had the busiest weekend. I was so busy running around, smelling new smells and trying new things that I’m not sure I can clearly remember what Mom and Dad did with me this weekend. The first thing I remember is that Saturday morning, Mom said my favorite word: park. I love that place. I immediately went to the door so we could leave, but Mom and Dad just shook their heads and said something I didn’t understand. Then I saw them do their weird grooming habits. I don’t know why they don’t just give themselves a few licks. That always works for me, and my girlfriend Emma the Rottweiler seems to like it a lot.

Much later, we finally left the house. Mom and Dad were saying the word “park” a lot now, so I hoped they were actually going to take me there soon and not continue to tease me. They did not disappoint me this time. As soon as we got close to the park, I started running back and forth in the backseat of the car preparing myself for all the running I was certainly going to do once they let me out of the car. A couple of my friends were already at the park and I met a few new ones too. I beat them all running for the ball. Hah!

Once we left the park, Mom and Dad made a few stops around where we used to live and then we went on a long drive. It did not seem like it was that long for them, though. They were happy it was “only 30 minutes,” whatever that means. When I got out of the car this time, I was innundated with the smells of a brand new place. There were people everywhere and it was noisy! There were lights and rides and lots and lots of food. I think I heard Mom say something about the biggest wine festival in the world, but I could be remembering that wrong. I don’t know what that means. I did hear Dad say we were in Bad Dürkheim, though.

We wandered around and about a thousand people wanted to pet me and some crazy man even handed me a stick. I don’t understand it, but Mom said he was drunk. Some other man also came up to me speaking gibberish. Mom had to translate for us and tell him though I’m a German dog, I speak English, not German. He shook my paw. Some crazy ladies oohed and ahhed over me and spilled their sweet yellowish drinks on the ground around me. Boy, I loved licking that stuff up, but Mom and Dad didn’t want me to have it. It’s like when they have their beers. They let me smell their breath, but I can’t ever taste their drinks! (But Dad sometimes lets me lick the outside of his bottle.)

Later some people gave me some cheese. They said something about it being from the Alps. I think I was there. After that, we sat around for a loooooooong time and Mom and Dad shared a table with a German couple. They talked a lot about how their wine smelled and tasted like coffee. I know what that is! Mom and Dad have it every morning, but the coffee machine makes crazy noises and I’m not so sure about it.

When we left that place, Mom and Dad made a phone call and talked in German to some people. Before I knew it, I was in a place I sort of remembered, but I couldn’t quite place it. Mom and Dad said something about meeting me here. I sniffed around a bit and then I remembered. This is where I was born! My breeder mama and papa were there. They were so happy to see me and were very impressed with how smart I am. They said my eyes are the color of bernstein (Mom: “which means amber”). It was fun to see them again. Apparently I have a lot of siblings there, but they were too little for me to visit. They’re only 4 weeks old.

We took a long drive home after that, and boy was I exhausted. I slept very well that night. Ok, I have a bug I’m tracking so I have to go. Thanks for letting me finally share things from my point of view. Hopefully Mom and Dad will let me do this again sometime.

Woof!

– Béni